Defying all ODDs

I am stuck in your lies

The relationship defies 

I feel a little less 

It's all a huge mess

I talk my mind 

Let's not play games 

By making a fool of me in the hindsight 

I wish to disappear from your world your sight 

It no right & wrong 

It's a little fight in my mind 

You killed my opportunities 

You kept a single focus sight 

You need me - you play with me 

You never trust me or care 

You lie you defy and you never share 

You make me wonder always if you really do care!! 

You taught me 

Now sort me 

Hate me just say me 

Why give me this loaned care.. 

There's no point to prove right!

It just doesn't feel fair..

My mum says my dad feels

I am a gem so rare! 

This is how you defy me 

O dear! you just don't care! 

Maa Kehti Thi Pari Hun Mein :)

Maa kehti thi pari hun mein

Papa ki sar chadhi hun mein

Yaad atta hai padhayi ki tension le jaana

Papa ka ye kehna exam dene hi na jaana

Maa ka mere sapno ke liye lad jaana

Dadu ka tvs pe books dilane le jaana

Dadi ka door padhai ke naam pe muh ​fulana

Fir apne haath se parantha khilana

Nanihaal mein sabse badi hun mein... 

Poocho koi nani se...aaj bhi sar chadi hun mein...

Raub to hona hi tha...nani ki, mama ki...

Bhaiyon ki aur behno ki...sabki Ladli hun mein....

Bua ka debates ki tayyari karana

Tau ka aate jaate per chuu ke jai mata ki keh jaana

Bhaiyon ka aage peeche cycle pakad ke sikhana

Behno ke saath mein khilkhilana

Wo kehte the bel hai wo mein ped ka tana..

Chota sa bhai​ jab​ mer​i​ doli vidaa karne chala..

Dhoondna pada tha usko...

Thaka so gaya tha pandaal mein...

Khush rehna harhaal mein...kehke kar diya vida

Ab jeevan hai sasural mein...aur kar diya alvida...

Aaj neend nahi aayi ...

Aur ghar yaad aa gaya....

Covid19 ka isolation...

Kavita kehla gaya....

Jeevan badalta rehta hai....

Dadu ne kahani sunayi thi....

Jaise jaane se pehle ... tayyari karayi thi..

Bole Shrestha jeevan uss daasi ka hota hai...

Jiska din-raat kewal uska farz hota hai...

Weh karm kar so jaati hai aur utth kaam par lag jaati hai.... 

Use na koi moh aur na koi dwesh hota hai...

Baat keh kar wo akasmat hi chale gaye...

Mano shiksha dekar jeevan ka falsafa de gaye...

Aaj bhi jab bhai-behen milkar sab baat karte hai...

Jeevan ki thakaan ka sanhaar karte hai..

Wo bachpan ke baaton ka pitara khol dete hai ....

Kuch pal ki thitholi mein jee bhar ke Hans lete hai...

Aur fir se nayi dincharya ka aarambh hota hai....

Kya aap ke bhi jeevan mein aisa sab hota hai....

Jo bhi ho jeevan mein bachpan bejod hota hai...

Sab chooth jata hai beech mein kahin....

Par ghar bhar ka pyar bejod hota hai...

Ab yaad aati hai bahut...

jab do pal ka chain hota hai...

harpal ye ehsaas hota hai....

Kyun maa kehti thi pari hun mein....

Sampooran

Hum saath the....

Pareshaani nahi thi....

Majboori thi...umeed thi...

Nakaami nahi thi...

Doori thi....hausla tha...

Naumeedi nahi thi... 

Ab na tum ho....aur na ummed hai....

Chhat hai...par aasmaan nahi hai...

Khwaab hai...raasta hai ...

Par manzil nahi hai...

Wo kal bhi mook the...

Wo aaj bhi maun hai....

Haalat hai ....koshish hai...

Par safalta nahi hai...

Raat hai...sannata hai...

Par neend nahi hai...

Kya chahti thi ye duniya mujhse....

Bahu to hai par wo maa nahi hai...

Wo beti thi...aurat hai...

Par sampooran nahi hai...

Dekhe sapne use haq hai...

Par khushiyon ki talab na rakhe...

Ye samaaj hai..Jise apne huzoom pe naaz hai...

Ye koi do logon ka rishtaa nahi hai...

Iski sharte hai jo poori na ho....

To poore khwabon ki bhi ye adhoora rakhe...

Utth kar baith gayi mein...

Shayad jehen sawal kar raha tha...

Itni dhradh hokar aise sochti ho...

Itna un-uchit to samaaj nahi hai...

Aur fir uss parmatma ka dhyaan kiye..

Kuch sawaal jawaab kiye...

Aur wo bole sojaa ab...hausla rakh ....

Karm kar....tere liye mera saath yahi hai ....

Smiling Star - My Grandpa

This bday as they say is no more the same, 

The excitement the craze is long lost n gone,

The people who twinkled blessings thru the eyes,

Are no more around, the sun kissed candle lights have touched a weird dawn

Who blessed me, who pampered are now so far, 

The spirits are tampered with shallowness n no charm

My grandpa is no more, he is smiling as a star...

My blessings are doubled, I feel he is pouring his charm

God is been gracious in knowing what I need....

He blessed me with perseverance n resilience as my years count

The wishes are pouring from north & south.....

I feel a little older as the child in me departs....

The maturity makes a lot of sense....but a responsibility surmounts.....

It was a lot easy when candles on cake, we could count.....

Growing up is just a number....and there is more to growing wiser n sound.....

I put the pen down as the feeling shall not mount.....

I feel a little crazy about these celebrations.....

Is it age catching up or life has found better reasons....

I sigh and I wonder what goes that comes around...

People with such positive vibes are strategically placed around... 

Is this my grandpa telling the God's to be around 

Or these are the angels blessing me on the efforts with constant sounds...

Thank u for the wishes...the thoughts n the remembrance.....believe me I know this that each wish does counts....!!!

Papa ji - Our Rockstar

Papa ji – that is how we call our grandfather fondly. And now when I am pretty grown up to understand the world ways, I am thankful we dint call him Dada Ji. He was no way less than a father to me or my family.

I lost him on April 23^rd and I feel life will not be the same. Like I know Lord Shiva is by my side, I feel my grandpa will be my side too but the realization that he won’t be around anymore – is nagging, it irks me and brings tears. I was and still known as – his favorite grandchild. But you know what – it doesn’t matters, for I always maintained that I am God’s favorite child – whether he showers blessings or he tests my patience. I know he is around and for some reason he took away Papa ji – that too suddenly. He was doing Ok – health wise and otherwise. He lived like a rockstar and now he is a 'star' up above in the sky.

I and my family are finding it difficult to cope – because he was very much a family man. We celebrated his last B’Day in October - all together. We feel blessed about the day – we gave him a happy b’day though we dint knew it was going to be the last with him around.

May be I am writing so much, because I saw death so closely for the first time, by this day I had not thought about it or about losing a closed one in a fraction of seconds.  At the funeral – I overheard people saying that he went like a blessed soul – because he dint feel any pain or problem and he dint of course let anyone know that he is going away. It was a normal routine day – he went for the walk, played with my niece and everything just so normal. And I get a call in the evening – with the news that he is gone.

There is absolutely no denying the fact that he was the most attached family member to everyone, a caring husband, a friendly father, concerned father-in-law, fantastic uncle and a doting grand dad I ever came across. And he had this forever ‘ZEST’ for life and to ‘LEARN’.

Life ‘goes’ on – I have learnt this in the last week but the memories come to me every day in each moment.  Whether it was my fee installments for the 2 years of my MBA or the engagement day, he was with me. He used to keep the record and remind dad about my course fee installments or it was my first step to enter the new life or new family – he took me arm to arm.

He was extra-proud of me.  On my first flight – he called to ask me, how was my first flight? I remember I used to call him on each important day of my life- an exam, an interview or a speaking event. I have had the best of conversations with him – On spirituality and books.

Whatever he would read or relate or feel lonely at times – he used to call up & share. Funny it might sound, but he used to call me to complaint about my grand ma and even his grand children. He was always a Best Friend and now will be my BFF till the end of life.

Another best thing about him is, he used to maintain a Family tree record. I am sure not everyone has read it – but he used to update it. He had his own Facebook well maintained even before I was born. He used to update all life events – my dad’s wedding to my wedding and even the details like High School, Senior Secondary and our Graduations are well tuned into it. Latest being the birth of my niece & nephews.

Sharing below the things is learnt from him:

1. Be Cool. Eat well, sleep on time, and worship God and just chill.

2. Live Life and Appreciate beauty.

3. Age is just a number, it doesn’t suggest – one should stop learning.

4. Love children. Do Good for the orphans. Service to mankind - the needy, the orphan or the underprivileged  is better then religious service. 

5. Respect Women. (I do not remember a single incident of him telling us to not do something because of being a girl) 

6. Care for your partner and the family.

7. Keep Working and maintain good health.

8. Eat what you like. It is ok to experiment with food.

9. Celebrate life and the little events of it.

10. Read – it helps.
11. Forgive easily. That only makes you better.
12. Keep Faith in God. Just do your job.
13. Stand your heads up - it is you who know what you are. 
14. Follow trends, keep yourself updated with the world.

Not that you are gone but you are more with us now for we all know that you are a family man and you just cannot be away from us. And I know you will always be around. 

Love you Papa ji. 

Kyun!

Kyun ladki ke sapne nahi hote...Kyun uske pankh apne nahi hote..
Kyun uska koi ghar nahi hota...Kyun apna ghar apna nahi hota....

Kyun bhej dete hai use parayi amanat maankar....
Aur apne ghar mein use paraya maante hai.....
Kya ya reet hai samaaj ki - Kya ye geet hai shay-maat ka
Kyun uske par kaatne ka riwaaj hai ye - kyun uski iss ladayi mein usi ki maat hai

Kyun adhikar use dene se darte hai hum...kya uske andar ki shakti se darte hai hum
Kyun uska har sangharsh bemaani mana jaata hai -
Kyun use rishton ki kashmakash mein - majhdaar mein chhodda jata hai

Kyun wo ek maa-baap ka sapna nahi hoti...Kyun uski unsuni awaaz ki sunwayi nahi hoti....
Kyun wo akeli be-bas samjhi jaati hai...Kyun uske uth-kar chalne pe tauhmat laga di jaati hai

Uske chalne, rukne ko tola-mola jaata hai...
Kyun uski sewa-shiddat ko dikhawa samjha jaata hai....
Gar chalti hai apni dhun mein -to Dhunki kehlati hai....
To kya hua gar wo apni marzi ki raah par chalna chahti hai....

Wo sabke sapno ka ghar bade pyar se sajati hai
To kya hua gar wo - ek sapna jeena chahti hai....
Kyun wo Guroor, wo Sapna aur Sapne se upar nahi hoti...
Kyun uski ek udaan, bardaasht nahi hoti....

Kyun uske adhoore-poore hone par shart samaaj lagata hai
Kyun aisa samjha jaata hai ki uske komal hriday ki awaaz nahi hoti....
Kyun uski dhahkan girvi hai, jeevan hai usme wo koi samaan nahi hoti...
Kya ladki iss samaaj mein - Ek Jaan nahi hoti!!

Kyun uske pankhon mein jaan bharne se sab darte hai....
Kya uski udaan mein - koi shaan nahi hoti...

Kyun uske jeewan ka adhaar sadev doosre se hota hai...
Waise to kehte hai ye dhara jo maa hai - bhi hoti hai ek ladki

Kyun use ladta dekhkar ye maanush bardaasht nahi kar pata hai....
Kyun use lalkaarte hue wo uske charitra pe ghaav lagata hai...
Ruko - dekho ye wahi purush hai jo duniya ke saamne Jai Ambe, Jai Mata ka dharm gyan sunata hai

Yaad rakho ek tum jaisa hi insaan hai ladki
Uski bhi ek pehchaan hai....Uske sapne hai....
Jin pankhon mein bhari us Ishwar ne udaan hai.....
usi Ishwar ka ek vardaan hai- ladki! 

Do Not Struggle Emotions.Be a Survivor.

I believe many of us struggle a lot to keep our faith intact. To keep ourselves from becoming weak, feel lonely or broken. I display strength and do not want to show my emotions even in the most hair rising situations. I believe I have worked hard to be where I am and that has made me tough from outside, I do not want to give away so easily for I still have faith, for I am ready to work harder for few more years’ at least.

We at times do not feel a rush for we want to give life & faith another chance, but we struggle to fight it out. Sometimes we feel difficulty, to express it, to convey it and to make others realize how we feel inside.

At times we feel like this, and at times we find everyone around so preoccupied. Who the hell in this world is around to lend an ear and listen and say that they really ‘do care’? There are times when we will find an answer – ‘No One’.

Do not panic. Do not Struggle. Vent out and gain power from within.

Find friends, share, talk within or shift the focus. Many a times, the problem you are facing will not be understood, people would not accept the fact or show escapism. And it should not worry you, it should not cause pain in your nerves. Lord Shiva says, “If the other person is not ready to fight for himself, and you feel the need to fight for them, Go Fight, for what you do is your Karma and stop thinking about them or why they didn't do it”.

I came across a quote, “If they don’t fight for you, they are not right for you.” Agreed, take the quote in positive spirits. For it doesn't mean they are wrong, it only suggests you need to fight for yourself, keep your focus and follow the right direction. That is the beauty of Karma.

I see lot of intolerance around, people want to find flaws and act at that moment. Decisive acts. Don’t struggle to take a decision. Give the circumstance sometime, let the situation be tolerant enough to sit, accept, understand and opinionated. Anger is an enemy of right decisions. This doesn't mean you become an option for right times, it only means gain strength, think rational and then decide about the situations that cropped because of anger, despair. Do Not Struggle to take Instant Decisions.

Talk to friends, for they are God sends. I am sure most of them will be busy or will not care to revert. They are acquaintances. Find friends not those who are there for a reason or season but those few lifetime friends – who genuinely care.

Do Not Struggle with the fear of big mouths. What has happened or happening was the will of God, learn from your mistakes and move on. Accept the fact and live life. We are not here to exist and spend life. We are blessed with a life to make most of it.

Do not Struggle to make it Big. Just keep focus, keep passion, keep faith and Live it. Be a Survivor and not a Victim.