Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Waiting for someone..!

Waiting for someone…

Kehte hain intezaar mein bhi maza hai? How it feels like waiting for someone? Is it really fun or just an itchy & irritating feeling that not only spoils your plan but also your mood?

Well, depends on whom are you waiting for, why are you waiting for and in what circumstances are you waiting for. Let’s consider some of the circumstances which we all must have faced sometime or the other.

Waiting for an interview, its like breathing normal, telling ourselves that I am fine, I can do it and then taking a deep sigh, praying, God! I know you are there. Help me present myself more confident than I actually am.

Next could be, waiting for your date at a restaurant or a multiplex. Ah! Sleepy eyes being decked up, looking for someone with a nervous heart making one feel hollow within. Wow! The fear of shoes getting dirty or the hair gel loosing its effect…damn, he/she will be reaching anytime.

What else do we wait for most?

Oh, A Bus or may be a local train, which is the medium of to & fro in our everyday oscillating lives from home to work & vice-versa. This one is little tricky to follow because at some point of time it becomes part of our everyday routine and we just keep following the routine. And when the everyday wait stretches for say more than ten minutes, we start becoming panicky thinking, if we have actually missed the train/bus and going to be late today. But in this process, we make new friends who are called, the train friend, and the bus friend or may be the bus-stop friend.

Hey! Never realized that waiting could be fun too!

What could be more fearsome?

Waiting for exam results, which can be out anytime? Gosh! This is just breathtaking. Came, not now, came, not now. These days, it’s sometimes system failure or power breakdown, the server overloaded or a network jam. And while we wait, the heavy heart takes the toll. At the same time, there is wait to let the previous one get over, because then comes the holidays ;-)

As I said in the beginning, it depends.

Getting on to the emotional side,

Waiting for a life to come, an infant to born, I remember when my cousin had her labor pains, I was waiting outside with a vague feeling, vague because I cant say I was elated as she struggled in pain and neither can I say that I was not curious for each next moment at that time. As I was waiting in the hospital lobby, all lost staring the tiles, suddenly appeared my brother-in-law and gave the news, they were blessed with a baby boy.

Ah! The whole wait comes to life on seeing in front a new life.

Next could be, a bride waiting for her groom. This one could be defined as, an excitement filled doubtful wait. Lot of hopes and lots of worries, a dream of love and various queries, a reception for life and a moment you cherish. Waiting for this moment is just like life, as it gets over, one enters a new life.

Wondering, what made me write so much here about ‘Waiting’, well the wait ends here; as he has come and we got to go now. I was just sitting here waiting for my husband ;-)

Thursday, January 10, 2008

In Pursuit of Happiness

What is the single thing which makes us do each thing in life? All I could think of is, it is the Quest for being happy, always. If you agree to this notion, then read ahead.

Be it at work, the studies, the relationship or even the mot weird pranks we play to friends, all have a single goal i.e. happiness, which is been pursued with different names for each, like, fun, growth, serenity, security, financial freedom etc all leads to happiness because somewhere we have defined the parameters of our own happiness. Haven’t we?

In between this flow of thought, I had one more intriguing question, knocking the wall of m brain as – Why am I writing something like this? And here I found the answer, may be I desperately need someone for a long & looked up to tête-à-tête. And as always when I find no-one for this reason, I have this amazing thing called MS-Word and so what if it doesn’t responds; at least, it never stops me in expressing myself. However, it gives me the freedom to talk without any fears, concerns, calculations etc. And right now, all I crave for is to have a rap session with someone who is willing to listen & understand.

Like one of my friend was telling me, last one year my life is been on a roller-coaster and current state of mind says, the new year will be spent in settling with the effects of that. My parents always say, I mean its been 24 years that I am too sensitive and where as my friends feel I am ever-smiling and few who are close to me, understands me as a complicated comprehension. Yes, I agree that I am full of fun and a prankster at times but there are certain issues I am too sensitive for, that include certain people too. Few of them know it well and rest just keep on hurting me now n then.

I want to be a free-spirit.

Yes, that’s the other side. I want to be a free-spirit. I remember when I was struggling in Delhi to get an admission in a good B-school, slowly and slowly I had managed to come out of my fear- ‘of not being able to do something’ and I realized that- ‘I got to do something’ and so life became a little easy. Finally, when I got admission in a B’lore based school, I was all set for new learning, new experience with almost three times more far from my place. It was exciting and I was little doubtful at the same time. For the very reason was going to be all by myself, no friends, and no relatives. Well, that was a tough start but a blissful end. Because by then, I had learned to be myself, to love myself, to be a maverick, I had an opinion worth valuing and I learned to take charge of my actions and my life. (Thanks to the friend who out of irritation told me to do so) Post that I traveled to Mumbai for my job and life was full of wonderful, funny, weird, struggling and learning experiences. I had so much to do and I was all confident for the same. I completely enjoyed being independent. And this all gained confidence to me and my parents were just proud of me. And my siblings were proud to demand more gifts and few more, the last time….which never ended.

Post that, as it’s been said, ‘Life comes a full circle’ and then it marks the beginning of a new circle, someone marked the same for me as well. But being a hopeless optimist, for heaven’s sake, I want to be a ‘free-spirit’.