Smiling Star - My Grandpa

This bday as they say is no more the same, 

The excitement the craze is long lost n gone,

The people who twinkled blessings thru the eyes,

Are no more around, the sun kissed candle lights have touched a weird dawn

Who blessed me, who pampered are now so far, 

The spirits are tampered with shallowness n no charm

My grandpa is no more, he is smiling as a star...

My blessings are doubled, I feel he is pouring his charm

God is been gracious in knowing what I need....

He blessed me with perseverance n resilience as my years count

The wishes are pouring from north & south.....

I feel a little older as the child in me departs....

The maturity makes a lot of sense....but a responsibility surmounts.....

It was a lot easy when candles on cake, we could count.....

Growing up is just a number....and there is more to growing wiser n sound.....

I put the pen down as the feeling shall not mount.....

I feel a little crazy about these celebrations.....

Is it age catching up or life has found better reasons....

I sigh and I wonder what goes that comes around...

People with such positive vibes are strategically placed around... 

Is this my grandpa telling the God's to be around 

Or these are the angels blessing me on the efforts with constant sounds...

Thank u for the wishes...the thoughts n the remembrance.....believe me I know this that each wish does counts....!!!

Growing up needs Courage!

Running away from things is never a good thing. Face it from front is what I have always been taught! What a bad phase it would have been that I had almost thought to not accept the Birthday Wishes because I was cursed for my being and for treating it as a reason to celebrate. The freedom to be me in my own way was gone and I am trying to get to terms with it. 

Now that I am getting messages about Many Happy Returns of the Day, I wonder what people who know of it are trying to say! And then I am telling myself –

Come on! I can’t still keep my happiness for them who treated me as a back-up plan! The post is certainly not about me or I. But it is more about ‘we’. I turned 31 today and I wonder what went wrong and where? I am an individual first and at least that should be taken as it is. I am not asking anyone for any undue favors, I don’t beg you for generated love and never am I going to demand materialist favors.  I firmly believe – every human being on this planet deserves – to be treated with humanity & respect. 

And wondering that I realized, I can abandon myself from the love of friends and family for these are the people who always remind me - that I am certainly 'God's favorite kid.'

I am happy for those who want me to be happy. Those who believed that I am a human and deserve to be treated as one.

I am happy for those who chose to ignore me and all the great memories we co-created. 

I am happy for what happened, at-least I got to know more about life. I learned it quite early and I am sure it saved me a hemorrhage.

I am thankful to the God for giving me this life and to keep me calm enough to realize that we get only one life. 

I am thankful for the people around me who are reason enough to make me believe that life itself is a reason enough to ‘smile’.

I am thankful to people who without knowing about my circumstances, on hearing a timid voice say things like – ‘No you can’t be tired yet – you have a long way to go’

I am thankful to my younger brother- who said, ‘It is my sister’s birthday so that should be a reason enough for you to celebrate’

I am thankful for Google Doodle which read, ‘Happy Birthday Jigyasa’ as I launched chrome this morning on my machine. 

I am thankful to my grandparents for wishing me the most genuine wishes of my day as they make me realize that I was born special and still hold that special place in their hearts and mind.

I am thankful to friends who took time to wish me and those who surprised me my doing so. 

Alas, I am thankful and may God always make my life one; to be thankful of.

All this makes life a little simpler and helps me breathe feeling, ‘I am thankful to be’. And then I found this tweet as the day was coming to an end – “You can’t fight every battle. Choose which ones are worth fighting and let the others go."

Birthday Thoughts...:)

Yesterday morning….while I entered into another b'day of my life...I had some thoughts. Though I got calls from my family at 12 the night before and they were happy to wish me a happy birthday. They are happy that I am here….I exist as a part of their life.

Similarly, I am glad that I am given a chance to be me. Sometimes we have to be glad about ourselves. This morning that is what I told God and I thanked him to be with me like always. I thanked him for giving me the courage, the patience and the zeal to do things for good. Then I remembered my guru’s who are always by my side preaching goodness and instilling faith in me.

Then came those good people who remembered me, few have been with me for a reason or a season. But my goodness, the wishes were inspiring and made my day. I felt a little more special and I smiled. I am at peace that, they exist and I am glad I exist in close proximity of such wonderful people.

I am putting in here something which a teammate now friend sent to me yesterday morning. We have a relationship filled of respect and mutual admiration. I am going to cherish this gesture…the time spent on creating this for me, makes me feel special and worthy of finding happiness in little things. Isn’t it beautiful?

Stepping on a birthday ladder brings so many more queries in my mind. Life seems to be curious like me…..growing up is fun as it brings me to peace, keeps me calm and serene. I have learnt to keep patience, to give, to share and to be happy. I have learnt it is all a state of mind.

I worry about my anger – especially when I can’t control it with my mom. She still is the most tolerant when it comes about me. But then she understands the feelings, the unexpressed lot which bounces out only when she is around. I hope I get better this year on this front.

Recently, I have realized at times I am too vulnerable. I want to work towards that. I tend to lose spirits quite easily and start dreaming of a free-bird life which is practically difficult. But whatever be the case – I am truly the same freespirit – aspiring & dreaming big which each passing day :)