Shine On.. Underdog.

I never expect to lose. Even when I'm the underdog, I still prepare a victory speech.

H.JacksonBrown,Jr.

Underdog. A bad word for few, an understatement for many but why one shall be proud. Well, I believe one should be. For a simple reason, it makes life easier.

Yes it does. We live in a fast pace surroundings. Competition is stiff and Consumerism is stiffer.  It is a mad age so the least we can do it to become run of the mill. When this thought struck my mind this afternoon – I asked myself, why am I thinking this? And I realized – God answered to my worries, I was relieved. Having launched my venture some 2 years back, 2 years and 3 months back to be precise, suddenly I found myself stressed.  Life at times is harsh. Perhaps that was the case with me – lot of financial pressure, demanding domestic circumstances and what not? I felt suppressed and dead.  But then I realized, there is something in me which can really relate to being the underdog. May be it’s the perseverance, my resilience but something.

To turn the things worst, I had developed this feeling of loss. Loss of ‘me’, all the above reasons left me with no reason, no possibility for my interests & even wish list. There was absolutely no holiday, I could read books, music – gosh! I have been hearing from others about the latest rocking tracks. This is been tough. And then began the fight within – I felt as an underdog, the pressures from clients (read tantrums) to a start-up, the questions from the family and I would confess,the repeated comparisons of increasing gaps. The gap of where they are – where I am, the gap of their 9 to 5 job and my jobless days and 24 x7 days, the gap in their bank balance and my profits. Everything I felt was shouting and asking me – Have you gone nuts!!

Probably yes. This all had made me a tough nut. And I was wandering once again – have I made a mistake. Shall I look back and be upset. Is it a time to change the plan?

May be temporarily, maybe it’s the need of the hour. Well, then is stepping down a difficult task. No its not, because it’s our life and we have to do what suits it best.  And I believe it’s OK, till the time I know that I am yet to make it large. And then, I am aware – at least for me it’s not the first time. Life enjoys playing with me, testing me and smiling again.

And I am relieved…ready to re-live.  I am ok as I am flexible now..I am ready for the flow to find out what suits me best.  But on the journey called life, I would remember the quote -

I'm very competitive by nature. And I like to be the underdog - It's the best way to win. To come from behind and win is a great feeling!

Zac Efron

I Lost My Space - A Free-spirit's letter to me!

A deep breath is what I started this post with. A deep breath – helps me realize I still have some breathing space….some space at free-spirit to share and have my room too. Where I won’t be adjudged for being someone’s someone and the linkages thereafter.

Acceptance matters. I truly feel and have realized it many times before – that I have lost my space. And the best way to a good life – of course I mean peaceful life is to accept the fact of being a lone survivor in someone else’s place. Acceptance makes life easy, peaceful and beautiful. When there is no acceptance there is no peace.

Expectations kill. Yes, I do agree but my inner self always believed in expecting from self. And that always if followed by Self-belief. The self motivated me breaks down & gather herself to fight the battles of life. Professionally – I never had a problem. I was just able to tackle situations & people with efficacy.

Though on personal front – many a times, I got the feeling of being a complete failure. When I see around, I felt being trapped on a lonely island where no one can listen to you, see you, talk to you – forget about understanding you. I have everyone around still I have a fighting feeling of dejection & loneliness. I feel being the extra one. Called only when required, but the extra one is expected to be ready always. What a Pity! At times I think. I am a strong, happy, full of life – person. Did I say – I am? I was sounds more apt now. For now I have been constantly under pressure of someone’s expectation, social pressures and of being a good everything. That someone could be anyone as close as in family or as far as a business associate. There is no gratification left towards life. It’s just like a drummer on stage….need to beat it loud for others watching him. And no one cares – whether he loves what he is playing or not.

I thought of it as a problem. Yeah, being too practical & sensitive I did think that I should be checked but then I know the problems, I shall sort them out. And the bigger reason is - no one else even thinks there is a problem at all. It’s just my over-sensitivity, my immaturity, my selfishness and me being too ambitious.

A Devastate. More and more times I am being told – what a devastate I am. I have the capabilities to make others feel bad; dishonor them, not to accept their ways of life. But what worries me here is – Am I the only to accept here. Is anyone trying to accept me & my dreams here?

I am not Water. I wanted to say one thing. I am not water so I cannot immediately take the shape of its container. I am human. I did had 2 phases of life before this 3rd one, at home and second at the hostel. I am something. I am a free-spirit and I will take time in forgetting about that. Why am I supposed to leave my own self aside and be someone else that I am not?

I need to be cared. I have an urged to be cared for. Someone who shall stand by me always even at times if its for Social reasons. My mom – shall understand & talk to me like she used to do earlier. And not just about the new identity & its do’s & don’ts.

I shall be given my space. I need my space to dream big, to follow my heart, to believe in myself. My space to cry, smile, breathe and to live.

Life is short, let's not get angry!!

For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Have been pondering since morning, that most of the times it’s our ‘Good Intentions’ that put us into unnecessary problems. Well, most of the times they do. The bad temper is of course the reason of not being able to convey the right thoughts in right approach at the right moment.
Speak when you are angry - and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret.”
- Dr. Laurence J. Peter quotes
When you think of good, ought to take a right step, suddenly something irritates you and the good become a thing of past. Emotions overflow (read: explode) and here you are, already a culprit. No matter, what your intentions were. Your anger made you lost the beauty of that moment, that hour, that evening, that day or may be more. And we end up loosing the opportunity to smile, to laugh, to hug and some moments to cherish, may be.

I have been coming across many presentations, articles and discussions on Anger Management but then do they really help us in someway? I was thinking that any therapy of this kind is more mental then medicinal. If one thinks one can control oneself, he/she surely can. But when one doesn’t even try to understand and denies listening to the other person the problem increases. People get angry on petty differences of opinion, view, choices etc.
When anger rises, think of the consequences”
- Confucius
Worst is when that a situation is stretched and stretched for a longer time period. We forget to realize that, to show 1 minute of anger we are loosing 60 seconds of happiness. And this 2 digit number makes a better impact. Anger is also a cause of stress, high blood pressure etc which again gives more moments of panic and suffering. Where as, if we plan to sort out the differences in the soonest possible time and get ready for more smiles, life will be easier. All one needs is acceptance & patience.
“Anger will never disappear so long as thoughts of resentment are cherished in the mind. Anger will disappear just as soon as thoughts of resentment are forgotten.”
- Buddha