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I am asked – Do you recall some events in past that have shaped your present?
Difficult one......! I could recall various instances which contributed to what I am today.....but framing it in words looks like a mountain.
One thing I always knew since my childhood was - I have to have an identity of my own and second thing I have to be independent – in my thoughts, my work, and my belief of life. I wanted to have peace of mind, the tranquility of achievement. That doesn’t mean – I wanted to be renowned person or something but I wanted to be a person of my own – who believed in doing & did.
I was an introvert, an optimist introvert and all I wanted was to prove my mettle. I wanted to prove it to people who had at times consciously or unconsciously showed a disbelief in my thoughts, aspirations & even my dreams. Believe me; it’s tough to be optimist. It tests you really hard. There were times…that I felt like getting into a shell and forget about all aspirations and dreams. I used to pray to God – to take it all back and let me become a person of routine life.
I always followed.... my instinct! Though it has been a difficult call always....but somehow I managed to. I never pressed myself too hard to do something which I dint loved or believed in.
Though, there were testing situations when I had to choose between the easy & difficult, short-cuts & long struggles etc but most of the times – I end up putting myself to test. Or we can say, most of the times in those situations I could convince myself to hold on and excel. At times I succeeded and at times….was taught a lesson. In both cases, learning continued and it still does.
Yes, in some ways I am at peace but the struggle to dream continues. The new ones are in making, somewhat dense….they are in the process of getting the picture correct. I am again getting ready to find something new….maybe it’s the next phase…another level of ecstasy in terms of belief, learning & success.
My inspirations are varied…sometimes an entire book, sometimes a statement, sometimes a personality, sometimes an incident….. God has always been generous in providing me right mentors at different levels of life and the constant belief of my family & few friends, in my capabilities which I at times feel is too rigid, gets me to reach places.