Monday, February 14, 2011

Do you recall some events in past that have shaped your present?


Image Courtesy: Firetongue8

I am asked – Do you recall some events in past that have shaped your present?

Difficult one......! I could recall various instances which contributed to what I am today.....but framing it in words looks like a mountain.

One thing I always knew since my childhood was - I have to have an identity of my own and second thing I have to be independent – in my thoughts, my work, and my belief of life. I wanted to have peace of mind, the tranquility of achievement. That doesn’t mean – I wanted to be renowned person or something but I wanted to be a person of my own – who believed in doing & did.

I was an introvert, an optimist introvert and all I wanted was to prove my mettle. I wanted to prove it to people who had at times consciously or unconsciously showed a disbelief in my thoughts, aspirations & even my dreams. Believe me; it’s tough to be optimist. It tests you really hard. There were times…that I felt like getting into a shell and forget about all aspirations and dreams.  I used to pray to God – to take it all back and let me become a person of routine life.

I always followed.... my instinct! Though it has been a difficult call always....but somehow I managed to. I never pressed myself too hard to do something which I dint loved or believed in.  

Though, there were testing situations when I had to choose between the easy & difficult, short-cuts & long struggles etc but most of the times – I end up putting myself to test.  Or we can say, most of the times in those situations I could convince myself to hold on and excel. At times I succeeded and at times….was taught a lesson. In both cases, learning continued and it still does.

Yes, in some ways I am at peace but the struggle to dream continues. The new ones are in making, somewhat dense….they are in the process of getting the picture correct. I am again getting ready to find something new….maybe it’s the next phase…another level of ecstasy in terms of belief, learning & success.

My inspirations are varied…sometimes an entire book, sometimes a statement, sometimes a personality, sometimes an incident….. God has always been generous in providing me right mentors at different levels of life and the constant belief of my family & few friends, in my capabilities which I at times feel is too rigid, gets me to reach places.

7 comments:

Mohit said...

Identity and independence. Both attained. Congrats :) Now what.. may be more independence or something else? This is just a question and may not need an answer, just some introspection. See I am trying to make it easy for you.
Wish that everyone finds the mentor, hand holder with love of loved ones like you did... Keep moving ahead with faith and tenacity.. on a path that you will know only after you put your feet on it...

Robert Frost said it better than most...
The Road Not Taken
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Jigyasa said...

Thanks Mohit! for again pushing me onto a different path...loved the lines..

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Btw, I hope you got the answer as I am still wondering :)

Mohit said...

:)
simple: I got the answer.
philosophical: Telling the story is more important that what the listener (reader) makes of it. (It means that I got my answer - in sync with my level of evolution and understanding)....

sulagna ™ said...

you know..there are so many memories where i learnt a lesson, made a mistake, got rewarded or got appreciated..lots actually ..infact as a kid i used to watch this serial called "udaan " on DD1 cus there was no cable then. It was i guess on kiran bedis life..that serial inspired me hell lot ya !!

Jigyasa said...

@ Mohit

I am glad - you got an answer! May be we shall discuss more in person...!

Jigyasa said...

@ Sulagna

Udaan - yeah! I too have certain memoirs of the same...wonder which tv serials & soaps can be an inspiration today :D

Mohit said...

@Jigyasa Sure catch up soon. Hope you are enjoying your time.