Nothing is serious!!!!

Life a bed of roses. Having read a post by Ellen today morning, I have been wondering that Life is a bed of roses.

Did you say - not always??? Well it is indeed.

I liked saying that, as it leave me with a positive note. And otherwise also I hate myself for being negative at times when Life pushes me too much.
Life is a bed of roses. Only the color of roses keep changing. Remember, Roses are in white, pink, yellow, orange and red color. But don’t you miss the Black Rose. Similarly, life has got different colors and the situations & circumstances keep on giving it one and another shade thereafter. And then roses have horns too. That could be taken as a life’s decision to push one so hard that ultimately one bleeds.

I remember a brief conversation here, when I had asked about the well being of a friend and since its so recent, that my thoughts flew in that very direction when I pondered about Life & Roses.

Me: Hey how are you? You look sad. Is everything fine. I hope nothing is serious.
Friend: nothing serious......its just a change which is sometimes undesirable, expectations unmet and some general things giving a feeling of disrespect to myself, sometimes a little guilt and sometimes too many tears in my eyes confuse me about my existence.
But don’t you worry. Nothing is serious.

Now I am not worried, its just that I could not reach to an answer as to, how a rock solid person like my friend could end up fighting tears. A person so strong, tough headed, so learnt from life not to get welled up easily and now struggling to fight her own tears. This raises a question to me. Even though, I am told that she is determined to be happy (she says determined, not destined) I still feel some loss for this. Because some loss has happened to a person, to a soul, to someone’s respect and to someone’s trust. Also I have a feeling that may be she is taking it just too seriously and she doesn’t needs to. May be its because almost everybody feels that way.

People tend to take it so normally as nothing has happened. People don’t feel bad because they are used to of changes, yes I mean the undesired changes. They do not know the words dreams and expectations for their own self, they believe that its their duty to live up to the expectations & dreams of their surroundings and they are fine spending (did you read wasting) a life for this. Now still what is itching me here is, a strong headed, self-motivated, almost self-earned person is telling me that I pray to god for peace or to rest in peace. I did see tears in her eyes!

People who are change averse face this kind of a situation. I will be wrong to say this. I guess it happens when a self-driven person who has learned this art after too much of effort is been told to hand over the steering of life in someone else’s hands. And even then, is required to be a silent observer all through the ride.

I don’t know. I am myself trying to find out all these answers for my friend. I want her to be happy as always. She is my best friend who I always relied. I want her to be a free-spirit again.

I wish her more smiles. Amen!

Tag of Eight....:-)

Tagged by Kaua.....Thanks to her for so sweetly she left a sweet reminder on the review panel....

Eight things I am passionate about

1. Writing....I wish to improve myself each day
2. Movies....
3. Fun-outings.....even if it is window shopping I am fine...
4. My home.....has to be organised (I dint say my room ;-))
5. Travelling... I truly enjoyed exploring new places whichever I have till date
6. Pranks.........I love teasing 'few' friends till they say please.... to me
7. Long Drives - Be it a bike ride or a car......
8. Music & Dancing (Though I am not gr8 at it....)

Eight things I want to do before I die

1. Learn Salsa...
2. Go for a world tour with my hubby.....even if its @ d age of 60
3. To be successful in the world of brands & marcomm
4. To join an NGO and to take charge of an unprivileged child (a girl child)
5. To be an established writer....
6. Buy my own car and to gift one to my hubby
7. To see my l'll brother taking my Dad's business to gr8ter heights
8. Have a coffee with Madhuri, Kajol, Barkha Dutt, Prasoon Joshi.......arey it can be a get together also.....

Eight things I say often

1. Too much
2. O really
3. Shut-up
4. Not fair
5. You never know!
6. Keep Smiling
7. Gawwd...
8. Hello...

Eight books I've read recently

Have been irregular from quite some time but anyways....
1. Doctor Zhivago
2. A book on Advertising
3. Somewhat read, The Golden Gate
4. I think it was, Screw it - Lets do it!! Lessons of Life from Richard Branson
5. The Class
6. Blue Ocean Strategy
Now I dont remember the sequence, currently reading The Fountain Head!!! Did try Robin Sharma in between ........seems like I am more of a self-motivated soul..

Eight songs I could listen to, over and over

1. Nahi Saamne .............from Taal
2. Na tum hamein jano......
3. Boulevard of Broken Dreams.......Greenday
4. Jaane kya chahe man banwara.....Pyar ke side effects
5. In dino ...............Life in a metro
6. Tum pukar lo ...........Khamoshi (the B/W one)
7. You are beautiful.....James Blunt
8. If you really......Bryan Adams
Guess we could have an 80 tag for this....

Eight things that attracts me to my best friends

1. Same mental pedestal
2. Jovial
3. Good listening skills......my best friends say so!!!
4. No gender biased attitude
5. Caring
6. Honesty...could be read Straightforward
7. No double standards
8. Respect humanity, before any class, religion etc.

People I think should do this tag

1. Lusty aka Lust4Life
2. Suddentwilight aka Paro
3. Shoooonya
4. Manoj
5. Ellen

Keep Smiling!!!

Lessons Life taught...

1. I have learnt that running from life isn’t a solution, it only makes you breathe heavy in the long run.

2. I have learnt that life is just too complicated, even at times when I think its not.

3. I have learnt life is so simple, mostly on the celluloid.

4. I have learnt money & not life becomes the sole motive for everything we do.

5. I have learnt dreams are good only if they are realistic.

6. I have learnt sometimes it’s a stranger we need for help then a friend or relative.

7. I have learnt ‘words of wisdom’ could be reached anytime, anywhere from anyone.

8. I have learnt books are actually the best friends, for they are always in our reach. And they never leave us too.

9. I have learnt education grooms us into a better person, but it has got too many side effects.

10. I have learnt not everything could be left on others, just to make them happy. You have got to think for yourself.

11. I have learnt that at the end of the day, I am myself is my best friend.

12. I have learnt that sometimes you have got to trust your instinct. Only thing is you should not ignore the doubts.

13. I have learnt one should have priorities but don’t let a person become your priority.

14. I have learnt all I need at times is ‘Solitude’, to get the peace of mind.

15. I have learnt if I smile at myself in the morning it becomes easy to smile during the long day.

Life goes on….and so does its lessons!!!

Keep Faith - Keep Smiling :-)

Obsession called NRI

Alas, I am here for writing about this phenomenon or anomaly which I found highly irritating at times. Recently, life brought me to one of the most developed and advanced (read pompous) state of our country, popularly known as Punjab. And this is what I see here, Mr. A’s daughter is not very well educated, she cannot frame general English, she isn’t aware what fluency is? But her long cherished dream is to fly abroad even if it’s through her marriage. The children are brought up with a dream to fly abroad to be rich and if they couldn’t manage to get a visa, marriage is the visa fro them.

People have only one dream for their children, i.e. to fly abroad and to get settled over there, no matter its education or a bribe, the ultimate goal is to settle in a foreign nation. But, but they never skip from making it clear that there spices in the kitchen, utensils, clothes, slippers, oil, toothbrush etc blah-blah and even wives have to be Indian. With some is the cost factor involved and with others the culture. There are rules devised for the family members which could be loosened or broken when an NRI relative visits them. Surprised! O man, understand he/she is from Canada/US, New Zealand or whatever…

The show & pompous which this status brings in is again magnificent. There has to be a Limousine arranged to pick up the NRI from airport. No less then that, a car will work. You can easily see the difference in a Indian –dressed casually depicting the westernized impact on our population and a Non-Resident Indian dressed in a ………..oh m wordless…ok lets say, dressed in a way depicting a fine (no that’s too good a word) fusion of desi (local) and pardesi (foreign resident) culture.

Though I am glad that the educated lot did realized the upswing in Indian economy and has now started considering Hyderabad, New Delhi, Bangalore, Chennai, Mumbai, Chandigarh etc in place of Canada, US, New Zealand. Having been stayed in metro’s and cosmopolitan cities around the nation, I have seen the development happening in terms of jobs, careers and education and also the reverse brain drain but after coming here it seems like many in the state are still unaware of all this. For them it’s only abroad where they will find a rich, classy (they have a different definition of class) life. And to that also, I got to learn a sad fact that many of these, who parade their richness and NRI status in the home country are actually doing the laborious jobs there. And then I felt sad and also helpless about the misconceptions people are getting carried away with. Its purely illiteracy, ignorance and lust to get a status (rather) tag of NRI.

What’s disheartening is people do this just for the sake of tag, class and quick money. Its disgusting that this also fetches a bad name to those who reach there out of education, qualification and quality. Those who still let the dream of coming back to home country flourish deep inside their heart. Those who believe in doing good for the nation despite being staying far away. And those who just want to earn a status tag called NRI.

Intransigence

Intransigence is all what a person needs most to live. When I say ‘to live’, I mean not to be ‘undead’. One has to understand that the priority always should be ‘To have a happy oneself’. If one is not happy from inside, he/she can’t be a better sibling, a better partner, a better child, a better professional or even a better person.

Intransigence is something which never lets you feel low, feel inferior and feel forced. I know, the word may sound derogatory at times, but the word is powerful as it tells us to withstand to self beliefs and values.

Imperfections are good when one needs to know the weaknesses and realizing the imperfections becomes the strength. But before that one needs to find out the problem, sometimes unnecessary problems occur when we start underestimating ourselves under the influence of others. That time what helps is self-talk. This could be done if one practices what Lucille Ball once said,

I have an everyday religion that works for me. Love yourself first, and everything else falls into line.

I have always been saying in my previous posts (On, http://o3.indiatimes.com/learnwithtaurian) that, Love is a misused word. I still go by that. In a relationship, many a time love is just not enough. A relationship needs things which are beyond love. No, I am not saying ‘Devotion’, in the practical world, nobody expects that actually. It’s more of give 'n' take these days. You respect someone- you deserve respect. You love someone – you expect love and if you care- you need to be cared too.

Changes occur and few of them are inevitable. What matters here is, that one needs to appreciate the conscious/unconscious changes which life brings in, and most of the times these changes force one to change the life philosophies and if one is not able to do so, that signifies that life is loosing the purpose or may be the person starts loosing the purpose of his/her existence. This is the time one needs to be candid, plain, one needs to be Intransigent.

In short, as Janis Joplin once said, “Don’t compromise yourself. You are all you've got.”

And remember, Joseph Campbell’s words, “Your sacred space is where you can find yourself again and again.”

Keep Faith, Keep Smiling!

Waiting for someone..!

Waiting for someone…

Kehte hain intezaar mein bhi maza hai? How it feels like waiting for someone? Is it really fun or just an itchy & irritating feeling that not only spoils your plan but also your mood?

Well, depends on whom are you waiting for, why are you waiting for and in what circumstances are you waiting for. Let’s consider some of the circumstances which we all must have faced sometime or the other.

Waiting for an interview, its like breathing normal, telling ourselves that I am fine, I can do it and then taking a deep sigh, praying, God! I know you are there. Help me present myself more confident than I actually am.

Next could be, waiting for your date at a restaurant or a multiplex. Ah! Sleepy eyes being decked up, looking for someone with a nervous heart making one feel hollow within. Wow! The fear of shoes getting dirty or the hair gel loosing its effect…damn, he/she will be reaching anytime.

What else do we wait for most?

Oh, A Bus or may be a local train, which is the medium of to & fro in our everyday oscillating lives from home to work & vice-versa. This one is little tricky to follow because at some point of time it becomes part of our everyday routine and we just keep following the routine. And when the everyday wait stretches for say more than ten minutes, we start becoming panicky thinking, if we have actually missed the train/bus and going to be late today. But in this process, we make new friends who are called, the train friend, and the bus friend or may be the bus-stop friend.

Hey! Never realized that waiting could be fun too!

What could be more fearsome?

Waiting for exam results, which can be out anytime? Gosh! This is just breathtaking. Came, not now, came, not now. These days, it’s sometimes system failure or power breakdown, the server overloaded or a network jam. And while we wait, the heavy heart takes the toll. At the same time, there is wait to let the previous one get over, because then comes the holidays ;-)

As I said in the beginning, it depends.

Getting on to the emotional side,

Waiting for a life to come, an infant to born, I remember when my cousin had her labor pains, I was waiting outside with a vague feeling, vague because I cant say I was elated as she struggled in pain and neither can I say that I was not curious for each next moment at that time. As I was waiting in the hospital lobby, all lost staring the tiles, suddenly appeared my brother-in-law and gave the news, they were blessed with a baby boy.

Ah! The whole wait comes to life on seeing in front a new life.

Next could be, a bride waiting for her groom. This one could be defined as, an excitement filled doubtful wait. Lot of hopes and lots of worries, a dream of love and various queries, a reception for life and a moment you cherish. Waiting for this moment is just like life, as it gets over, one enters a new life.

Wondering, what made me write so much here about ‘Waiting’, well the wait ends here; as he has come and we got to go now. I was just sitting here waiting for my husband ;-)

In Pursuit of Happiness

What is the single thing which makes us do each thing in life? All I could think of is, it is the Quest for being happy, always. If you agree to this notion, then read ahead.

Be it at work, the studies, the relationship or even the mot weird pranks we play to friends, all have a single goal i.e. happiness, which is been pursued with different names for each, like, fun, growth, serenity, security, financial freedom etc all leads to happiness because somewhere we have defined the parameters of our own happiness. Haven’t we?

In between this flow of thought, I had one more intriguing question, knocking the wall of m brain as – Why am I writing something like this? And here I found the answer, may be I desperately need someone for a long & looked up to tête-à-tête. And as always when I find no-one for this reason, I have this amazing thing called MS-Word and so what if it doesn’t responds; at least, it never stops me in expressing myself. However, it gives me the freedom to talk without any fears, concerns, calculations etc. And right now, all I crave for is to have a rap session with someone who is willing to listen & understand.

Like one of my friend was telling me, last one year my life is been on a roller-coaster and current state of mind says, the new year will be spent in settling with the effects of that. My parents always say, I mean its been 24 years that I am too sensitive and where as my friends feel I am ever-smiling and few who are close to me, understands me as a complicated comprehension. Yes, I agree that I am full of fun and a prankster at times but there are certain issues I am too sensitive for, that include certain people too. Few of them know it well and rest just keep on hurting me now n then.

I want to be a free-spirit.

Yes, that’s the other side. I want to be a free-spirit. I remember when I was struggling in Delhi to get an admission in a good B-school, slowly and slowly I had managed to come out of my fear- ‘of not being able to do something’ and I realized that- ‘I got to do something’ and so life became a little easy. Finally, when I got admission in a B’lore based school, I was all set for new learning, new experience with almost three times more far from my place. It was exciting and I was little doubtful at the same time. For the very reason was going to be all by myself, no friends, and no relatives. Well, that was a tough start but a blissful end. Because by then, I had learned to be myself, to love myself, to be a maverick, I had an opinion worth valuing and I learned to take charge of my actions and my life. (Thanks to the friend who out of irritation told me to do so) Post that I traveled to Mumbai for my job and life was full of wonderful, funny, weird, struggling and learning experiences. I had so much to do and I was all confident for the same. I completely enjoyed being independent. And this all gained confidence to me and my parents were just proud of me. And my siblings were proud to demand more gifts and few more, the last time….which never ended.

Post that, as it’s been said, ‘Life comes a full circle’ and then it marks the beginning of a new circle, someone marked the same for me as well. But being a hopeless optimist, for heaven’s sake, I want to be a ‘free-spirit’.