Papa ji - Our Rockstar

Papa ji – that is how we call our grandfather fondly. And now when I am pretty grown up to understand the world ways, I am thankful we dint call him Dada Ji. He was no way less than a father to me or my family.

I lost him on April 23^rd and I feel life will not be the same. Like I know Lord Shiva is by my side, I feel my grandpa will be my side too but the realization that he won’t be around anymore – is nagging, it irks me and brings tears. I was and still known as – his favorite grandchild. But you know what – it doesn’t matters, for I always maintained that I am God’s favorite child – whether he showers blessings or he tests my patience. I know he is around and for some reason he took away Papa ji – that too suddenly. He was doing Ok – health wise and otherwise. He lived like a rockstar and now he is a 'star' up above in the sky.

I and my family are finding it difficult to cope – because he was very much a family man. We celebrated his last B’Day in October - all together. We feel blessed about the day – we gave him a happy b’day though we dint knew it was going to be the last with him around.

May be I am writing so much, because I saw death so closely for the first time, by this day I had not thought about it or about losing a closed one in a fraction of seconds.  At the funeral – I overheard people saying that he went like a blessed soul – because he dint feel any pain or problem and he dint of course let anyone know that he is going away. It was a normal routine day – he went for the walk, played with my niece and everything just so normal. And I get a call in the evening – with the news that he is gone.

There is absolutely no denying the fact that he was the most attached family member to everyone, a caring husband, a friendly father, concerned father-in-law, fantastic uncle and a doting grand dad I ever came across. And he had this forever ‘ZEST’ for life and to ‘LEARN’.

Life ‘goes’ on – I have learnt this in the last week but the memories come to me every day in each moment.  Whether it was my fee installments for the 2 years of my MBA or the engagement day, he was with me. He used to keep the record and remind dad about my course fee installments or it was my first step to enter the new life or new family – he took me arm to arm.

He was extra-proud of me.  On my first flight – he called to ask me, how was my first flight? I remember I used to call him on each important day of my life- an exam, an interview or a speaking event. I have had the best of conversations with him – On spirituality and books.

Whatever he would read or relate or feel lonely at times – he used to call up & share. Funny it might sound, but he used to call me to complaint about my grand ma and even his grand children. He was always a Best Friend and now will be my BFF till the end of life.

Another best thing about him is, he used to maintain a Family tree record. I am sure not everyone has read it – but he used to update it. He had his own Facebook well maintained even before I was born. He used to update all life events – my dad’s wedding to my wedding and even the details like High School, Senior Secondary and our Graduations are well tuned into it. Latest being the birth of my niece & nephews.

Sharing below the things is learnt from him:

1. Be Cool. Eat well, sleep on time, and worship God and just chill.

2. Live Life and Appreciate beauty.

3. Age is just a number, it doesn’t suggest – one should stop learning.

4. Love children. Do Good for the orphans. Service to mankind - the needy, the orphan or the underprivileged  is better then religious service. 

5. Respect Women. (I do not remember a single incident of him telling us to not do something because of being a girl) 

6. Care for your partner and the family.

7. Keep Working and maintain good health.

8. Eat what you like. It is ok to experiment with food.

9. Celebrate life and the little events of it.

10. Read – it helps.
11. Forgive easily. That only makes you better.
12. Keep Faith in God. Just do your job.
13. Stand your heads up - it is you who know what you are. 
14. Follow trends, keep yourself updated with the world.

Not that you are gone but you are more with us now for we all know that you are a family man and you just cannot be away from us. And I know you will always be around. 

Love you Papa ji. 

Do Not Struggle Emotions.Be a Survivor.

I believe many of us struggle a lot to keep our faith intact. To keep ourselves from becoming weak, feel lonely or broken. I display strength and do not want to show my emotions even in the most hair rising situations. I believe I have worked hard to be where I am and that has made me tough from outside, I do not want to give away so easily for I still have faith, for I am ready to work harder for few more years’ at least.

We at times do not feel a rush for we want to give life & faith another chance, but we struggle to fight it out. Sometimes we feel difficulty, to express it, to convey it and to make others realize how we feel inside.

At times we feel like this, and at times we find everyone around so preoccupied. Who the hell in this world is around to lend an ear and listen and say that they really ‘do care’? There are times when we will find an answer – ‘No One’.

Do not panic. Do not Struggle. Vent out and gain power from within.

Find friends, share, talk within or shift the focus. Many a times, the problem you are facing will not be understood, people would not accept the fact or show escapism. And it should not worry you, it should not cause pain in your nerves. Lord Shiva says, “If the other person is not ready to fight for himself, and you feel the need to fight for them, Go Fight, for what you do is your Karma and stop thinking about them or why they didn't do it”.

I came across a quote, “If they don’t fight for you, they are not right for you.” Agreed, take the quote in positive spirits. For it doesn't mean they are wrong, it only suggests you need to fight for yourself, keep your focus and follow the right direction. That is the beauty of Karma.

I see lot of intolerance around, people want to find flaws and act at that moment. Decisive acts. Don’t struggle to take a decision. Give the circumstance sometime, let the situation be tolerant enough to sit, accept, understand and opinionated. Anger is an enemy of right decisions. This doesn't mean you become an option for right times, it only means gain strength, think rational and then decide about the situations that cropped because of anger, despair. Do Not Struggle to take Instant Decisions.

Talk to friends, for they are God sends. I am sure most of them will be busy or will not care to revert. They are acquaintances. Find friends not those who are there for a reason or season but those few lifetime friends – who genuinely care.

Do Not Struggle with the fear of big mouths. What has happened or happening was the will of God, learn from your mistakes and move on. Accept the fact and live life. We are not here to exist and spend life. We are blessed with a life to make most of it.

Do not Struggle to make it Big. Just keep focus, keep passion, keep faith and Live it. Be a Survivor and not a Victim.

Growing up needs Courage!

Running away from things is never a good thing. Face it from front is what I have always been taught! What a bad phase it would have been that I had almost thought to not accept the Birthday Wishes because I was cursed for my being and for treating it as a reason to celebrate. The freedom to be me in my own way was gone and I am trying to get to terms with it. 

Now that I am getting messages about Many Happy Returns of the Day, I wonder what people who know of it are trying to say! And then I am telling myself –

Come on! I can’t still keep my happiness for them who treated me as a back-up plan! The post is certainly not about me or I. But it is more about ‘we’. I turned 31 today and I wonder what went wrong and where? I am an individual first and at least that should be taken as it is. I am not asking anyone for any undue favors, I don’t beg you for generated love and never am I going to demand materialist favors.  I firmly believe – every human being on this planet deserves – to be treated with humanity & respect. 

And wondering that I realized, I can abandon myself from the love of friends and family for these are the people who always remind me - that I am certainly 'God's favorite kid.'

I am happy for those who want me to be happy. Those who believed that I am a human and deserve to be treated as one.

I am happy for those who chose to ignore me and all the great memories we co-created. 

I am happy for what happened, at-least I got to know more about life. I learned it quite early and I am sure it saved me a hemorrhage.

I am thankful to the God for giving me this life and to keep me calm enough to realize that we get only one life. 

I am thankful for the people around me who are reason enough to make me believe that life itself is a reason enough to ‘smile’.

I am thankful to people who without knowing about my circumstances, on hearing a timid voice say things like – ‘No you can’t be tired yet – you have a long way to go’

I am thankful to my younger brother- who said, ‘It is my sister’s birthday so that should be a reason enough for you to celebrate’

I am thankful for Google Doodle which read, ‘Happy Birthday Jigyasa’ as I launched chrome this morning on my machine. 

I am thankful to my grandparents for wishing me the most genuine wishes of my day as they make me realize that I was born special and still hold that special place in their hearts and mind.

I am thankful to friends who took time to wish me and those who surprised me my doing so. 

Alas, I am thankful and may God always make my life one; to be thankful of.

All this makes life a little simpler and helps me breathe feeling, ‘I am thankful to be’. And then I found this tweet as the day was coming to an end – “You can’t fight every battle. Choose which ones are worth fighting and let the others go."

NaStY LiFe :-/ BuT LeTs KeeP GoInG!!

Life at times goes as nasty as it can. I am astounded, absorbed and still struggling for the act called entrepreneur. Though I am glad, God included this part to my life. Yes, one fine day and in some fine seconds of life – I decided to get absorbed on my own. I mean to work on my own. And that was the moment when I decided to call it quits to my well paying job which was nicely earning me incentives and lot of appreciation. If I calculate it today – I was happy with my work as my clients were really appreciating. But anyways, a decision taken is a decision followed. So, I started working on it. From nomenclature to concept, from service module to blogs, I was busy doing everything. Finally, I launched 3OTH FEB. Wow! You must be wondering about the name. Well that’s the name I gave to my venture. Yes, there is a tag line too, it’s called – Obviously Different Ideaz. For it says that we are professionals with weird, non-existing different ideaz & creativity.

Setting it up looked tough but not anymore. Sustainability looked like a challenge but we are working on it. Infrastructure is still a weakness. Threat is just the negative thoughts.

Today I wonder about what keeps me going? Well, its ideaz & inspiration. And yes those few people around who told me once and those who keep on re-iterating, ‘you will do it’. I at times ponder – what is more difficult to follow your life or to follow your heart? I am doing what I always wanted to and to get it in the way I want is what the struggle is all about. Lately, I have realized everybody doesn’t takes and organized & straight way as a virtue.

The pressure of sustainability & progress of my venture is mine. And then there is Halo Effect. Everybody else is into a good job and making good money – why did you have to do this? All working women manage life two ways – why you worry a lot. If I am scared of driving (after my dad survived a fatal accident) – why that is being made a mistake a blunder. And above all – what if I believe in doing things my way and those ways do not harm anybody and am absolutely not about breaking rules. Why am I told to do things, talk, walk & even think in the generalized way of life which everybody describes? Why am not I allowed to take charge? People believe in me but want to lead me always. Huh!

Yesterday, I was humming a song and I forgot the words. And I realized that I am so engrossed in my everyday work that I am at a loss of concentration and lack of life. Imagine I couldn’t recall the last time – I was humming a song. And then I realized that I have been pre-occupied, at times with work and at times the pressure of no work. It would be a lie of I say I haven’t missed my job days – I mean who would not miss a lovely bunch of colleagues, daily chit-chats, gossips and above all a pay cheque every month with all the powers of shopping, fun & frolic.

But this is a challenge and I am dedicated to it. I am hopeful about life and I respect the relations & friends and I believe in walking together. Now isn’t that enough!

It all ends up with a one-liner I read, "Grant me patience, but please hurry!"

Life...sometimes!

Life is an art,
We need to master it,
Our life- our Canvas
We paint it, we draw things
We use colors, we keep it blank
At times we are at ease, at times a think tank.

Life is a Riddle,
The more we look for solutions,
The more we complicate it.
The less we learn to worry,
The more we accept it.
At times, its pink & rosy, at times we add grey to it.

Life sets you apart,
Tries you, Breaks you and acts smart,
Life – a challenge, a fight.
Let not move the focus and the sight
Even when there is no light,
Smile a lot and think bright
Shine & show as you never feared
Life is all about smiles & cheers :-)